I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
