If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
