did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
