Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
