She said her name was "party"
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize