Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
