Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just puked most of my soul out..
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