i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
