Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Pants are for mortals
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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