It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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