There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
