Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i believe in u and ur pee
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
