I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
