Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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