is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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