dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
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He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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