im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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