How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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