he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
