you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
