You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Randomize
