I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
