i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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