david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
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Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
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There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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