Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
