The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
She announced her abortion via fbk
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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