People in love make me want to vomit
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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