I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm getting married
To pizza
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
