That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
