my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
