never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
