Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
