problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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