There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
