Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
