oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
