Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
