Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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