just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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