I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
