hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
