Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
