I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
