I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
