Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
