Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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