After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize