We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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