make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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