oh god the rape fog is back!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
