woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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