dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
