her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
