Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He felt like a one man threesome
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
