return my video game
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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