you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
