Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
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Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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