I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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