I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
