I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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